The song in my head

"Life’s too short, gotta live it long"

I am hopelessly in love with many different types of music, but here's a specific song I recently came across.  Even though the title is kind of ridiculous, "Young Homie" is undoubtedly stuck in my head.  Luckily it's the type of song that I'm okay having resident up there.  Also, it is currently being endlessly played in my room, probably much to my roommates annoyance.  Oh, well.  A good song is always worth it.

Always,

L.A.

Ah, P.S. Chris Rene's song also inspired this:

Music. It's beautiful.

Music moves people.

Music inspires people.

Music frees people.

Music heals people.

Music lets people know they're not alone in there struggles.

Music lets people know it's okay to be different, to be in love, to feel pain, or to be simply you.

Music lets people know they aren't the first or last to feel as if they're dying of a broken heart.

Music lets people know that someone else has gone through a similar situation and made it out alive.

Music is hope for the hopeless.

Music is relief those in pain or who can't ever catch a break.

Music is therapy that doesn't cost a thing.

Music is a canvas used for painting pictures of life as it is, as it was, and as we wish it were.

Music can change your point of view.

Music can change your life.

Music can create the movement that makes all the difference.

Music can change the world.

Not every man lives

"Every man dies. Not every man really lives."
William Wallace


Fear can be an awful prison.  A prison that keeps you from what you want.
I won't let it stop me though.  It can't.
Because I want to live.


Always,
L.A.


                 photo courtesy of http://youmeandcharlie.com/daily-inspiration/dont-fear-the-unknown/

My friend, the night.

Here I am again, sitting at my desk in front of my computer, only the late night to keep me company.  I spend a lot of my nights like this, the only soul not smart enough to be asleep at this hour with my morning classes quickly approaching.  But I like my late nights.

I'm quite in love with them to be honest.

As surprising as it may be, the silence of the night makes great company.  It leaves me alone with my thoughts.  Gives me space to work or read. To be moved or inspired.  Or just simply be.

The most beautiful part of the night though, is the irony I've come to see in them.

One is so alone at night.  There isn't a person around to bother you or interrupt you.  You can be completely selfish without a shred of guilt.  No one is there to distract you from whatever it is you deem worthy to occupy this sacred, peaceful time.

Yet one is really not alone at all, at least not during the late nights in my dorm.  My roommate soundly sleeps only feet away from me.  Behind the wall I'm facing my neighbor is doing the same.  I need only peer out of my room and down the hall at the never ending row of doors to realize how far from alone I am on nights like this.

I only need to close my eyes though and I am alone once again.

Dwelling here in the peace that is the late night.  Pondering the meaning of life.  Or not. At least wondering how I'll make it through my chemistry test Monday.  Or class tomorrow.  Or the rest of this week.

Alone with my thoughts and my charming friend, Night.

Here is where I find my sanctuary.

          Have you found yours?

Always,

L.A.


                                           Photo courtesy of http://www.joeyocch.tumblr.com/

Today I've been thinking.

Today I've been thinking.

                 Astounding, I know.

Today I've been thinking about what I want and where I want to go.

Not only that though.  Those fantasies come often.

I've been thinking about where I'm at now, and how I've gotten here.

Thoughts such as these are numerous enough to make up a novel all on there own, yet too chaotic to make any sense of to do so.  But when all one can do is think such thoughts, the only thing to do is try and write them down in an attempt to put them to rest.  So as of now, here it is:

I'm eighteen years old, a freshman in college, and I recently come to terms with the fact that my entire last semester was spent trying to be somebody I most certainly am not, but I am beginning to see who I am.

I am not a sorority girl.

        I am a closet (or maybe not so closet) nerd, and if not nerd, at least bookworm.

I am not a girl who likes to spend her weekends partying, letting alcohol get the best of me and my decisions.

        I am the type of girl who would rather be completely absurd with her amazing friends, only drunk with

        my love for life.

I am not the type of girl who treats her body like a dump.

I am not the type of girl who obsesses over her work out regiment or diet.

        I have a passion for food, and I love being active.  I'm starting to realize my mother was right:

        Moderation is key.

I am not the type of girl who doesn't care about her grades, but I'm not a girl who obsesses over those little letters either.

        Although I know that those grades will or won't take me places, they won't give me lasting memories.

I am not supposed to be a doctor.  (I recently discovered I hate science.)

        I think I'm meant to exercise my love for words in some way, and there's nothing I'd love more.

        There really is something beautiful about words.

This is what I know.

This is where I'm at.

What will life bring for me next?  Your guess is as good as mine.

Always,
L.A.

Inspiration- In my life and yours

Lately I've been feeling very inspired.
Inspired to tell society that they're wrong about so much, and to shove off.
Inspired to rediscover my passion for life, love, and words.
Best of all, I've been inspired to be who I've always wanted to be.
(Or at least inspired to attempt to become that person.)

In the spirit of inspiration, I will leave you with a poem I recently discovered which inspired me, in hopes that it will do the same for you.

Always,
L.A.

            "Don't Quit"
"When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,
When the road you're trudging seems all uphill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high,
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit-
Rest if you must, but don't you quit.


Life is queer with its twists and turns,
As every one of us sometimes learns,
And many a fellow turns about
When he might have won had he stuck it out.
Don't give up though the pace seems slow -
You may succeed with another blow.


Often the goal is nearer than
It seems to a faint and faltering man;
Often the struggler has given up
When he might have captured the victor's cup;
And he learned too late when the night came down,
How close he was to the golden crown.


Success is failure turned inside out -
The silver tint in the clouds of doubt,
And you never can tell how close you are,
It might be near when it seems afar;
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit -
It's when things seem worst that you must not quit."

Life- It's confusing.

Life. It's so...confusing.

Have you ever felt like you're just not getting it? Like you're missing something? Lately that's where I find myself.

Society tries to feed us all this...just complete and utter crap, and I'm not buying it. I don't care what the media tells us, I don't want to spend my life chasing after money and power. That's never been me. When you grow up the oldest of seven kids, it makes it kind of hard to be self-serving and materialistic, and I thank God every day I'm lucky enough to be a part of the amazing family I've been blessed with. I don't want the big house or the fancy cars.

I want...more.

There's a place where I'd like to see myself in the future, but how does one get to that point? What do I do to get there? Which roads do I have to take? Do I stay here at the university where I started this year and have made many new friends? Or do I transfer to the university where all my lifelong friends from childhood and high school are?

Decisions, decisions. These are the questions that ambush me whenever I have a moment to think. Making decisions is far from my strong suit, so for now I just wait. Wait, pray, and trust in the His timing, that's all I can do for now.

Wish me luck.
This decision is a big one.

Always,
L.A.

Life is a funny thing

“Life is a funny thing.”  No truer words have ever been spoken in an Alanis Morissette song.  There are billions of people here on earth, each and every one of us a bit different than the next, but there will always be one thing we have in common.  We are all living this thing called life.

We do what we can with what we have.  Our strengths.  Our weaknesses. Our triumphs.  Our failures.  No matter what those things are, life keeps coming at us.  Some people try to make the best of it.  Some move through it without caring.  Others just struggle to make it through.

We either become wrapped up in our own little worlds, so shallow and insignificant, or do the best we can to see to it that everyone else's life turns out a little bit better because we were a part of it.  I choose the latter.  I always seem to befriend those who don't see themselves as worth other people's time.  They see themselves as a lost cause, too far gone to help, a hopeless mess.  Why they believe these stupid petty lies is beyond me.  Are they so wrapped up in their own pain and hardship to see what the world still has to offer them?

Yet here I am, the eternal optimist, the silly hopeless romantic, doing the best I can to show them that they aren't as bad as they seem.  With less than two decades of life lived, how hard is it to just start over?  So what if you've done some things you regret?  So what if you're life isn't what you thought it would be?  Was it a little tougher than you imagined?  Did you fall into something you are ashamed to admit?  A person's past does not define them.  Whoever fed that stupid damn lie to society should be slapped.

And yeah, people judge.  People are always going to judge you, no matter where you are in life or what choices you've made.  It's up to you to decide upon the type of life you want to live and stand up for that life, or at least not give a damn as to what other people think of it.  If you can't do that then maybe the life you're living isn't right for you.  Ever think about that?

Always,
L.A.