Lean in to kiss me
and I’ll meet you halfway there,
reach and you’ll be held.
Image via
Sunday, July 28, 2013
Not enough
I thought maybe you could mean something to me. That your kind attentiveness would be enough to me. There was always that whisper in the back of my head that always insisted, "You're worth more. This is not enough."
When people asked about you I would shrug my shoulders. Tell them I wasn't sure exactly what we were or what I wanted us to be. Looking back I see that the uncertainty that made a nest for itself in my stomach whenever you came up in conversation should have been a dead giveaway.
I should have known.
I should have know that although the daily text messages were flattering, the fact that you never worked up the nerve to call me meant you didn't understand me. When you said you only looked out for yourself I should have known that you were incompatible with my need to love everyone I came into contact with.
But I am a stubborn woman, so it took me a little longer to see, that a foolish boy in a man's body, no matter how attractive, kind, or attentive he may be, would never be enough for me.
When people asked about you I would shrug my shoulders. Tell them I wasn't sure exactly what we were or what I wanted us to be. Looking back I see that the uncertainty that made a nest for itself in my stomach whenever you came up in conversation should have been a dead giveaway.
I should have known.
I should have know that although the daily text messages were flattering, the fact that you never worked up the nerve to call me meant you didn't understand me. When you said you only looked out for yourself I should have known that you were incompatible with my need to love everyone I came into contact with.
But I am a stubborn woman, so it took me a little longer to see, that a foolish boy in a man's body, no matter how attractive, kind, or attentive he may be, would never be enough for me.
Sunday, July 21, 2013
Rumors
Rumor has it I'll be seeing you this fall.
Rumor has it we'll be living in the same town again.
This in and of its self does not worry me. The thought of your proximity is no longer is something that causes me to lose sleep at night. What keeps me awake is the thought of seeing you for the first time in almost two years.
Will you see me at all? Will I, in a moment of panic, run the other way if by chance I see you first? Will my walls stay up, or will you manage to tear my defenses down as only you can?
Only time will tell, but I have a frequent daydream of how our reunion will play out.
In it you see me, but you don't really see me. You are oblivious to the light dusting of freckles that dust the bridge of my nose, those kisses of summer that I love so much and remind me of days that used to be spent in denim overalls. Our eyes connect and I'm taken back to a time when your goofy smile was one of my favorite guilty pleasures, but you fail to recognize that my eyes are filled with melancholy for your sake. You look at me and are blind to how much our friendship once meant to me. An indifferent nod from you brings the daydream to an end with you walking past, completely unaware of the war you just awakened within me.
Rumor has it we'll be living in the same town again.
This in and of its self does not worry me. The thought of your proximity is no longer is something that causes me to lose sleep at night. What keeps me awake is the thought of seeing you for the first time in almost two years.
The thought of you seeing me.
Will you see me at all? Will I, in a moment of panic, run the other way if by chance I see you first? Will my walls stay up, or will you manage to tear my defenses down as only you can?
Only time will tell, but I have a frequent daydream of how our reunion will play out.
In it you see me, but you don't really see me. You are oblivious to the light dusting of freckles that dust the bridge of my nose, those kisses of summer that I love so much and remind me of days that used to be spent in denim overalls. Our eyes connect and I'm taken back to a time when your goofy smile was one of my favorite guilty pleasures, but you fail to recognize that my eyes are filled with melancholy for your sake. You look at me and are blind to how much our friendship once meant to me. An indifferent nod from you brings the daydream to an end with you walking past, completely unaware of the war you just awakened within me.
I knew that with the passing of time things would change between us, but I never thought it would be like this.
image via
Friday, July 5, 2013
Thank you, F. Scott Fitzgerald, for understanding my heart.
Her heart sank into her shoes as she realized at last how much she wanted him. No matter what his past was, no matter what he had done. Which was not to say that she would ever let him know, but only that he moved her chemically more than anyone she had ever met, that all other men seemed pale beside him.
- F. Scott Fitzgerald, A New Leaf
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