"When I first met you, I felt a kind of contradiction in you. You’re seeking something, but at the same time, you are running away for all you’re worth."
— Haruki Murakami

The true author of my story

It's been almost two weeks since I've wrote anything here, and for the past two weeks, I haven't been sure what that meant.

I thought my creativity may have run dry. That my passion for words was gone.

*cue me being {secretly} dramatic*

But honestly I think I just needed some time away from analyzing the story God has been writing for me. I needed time for me to just live my life the best way I know how and let the greatest Author work.

Happy Monday, World.
Live courageously.

Always,
L.A.

via

I'm okay.

Sometimes you just have those mornings. You know the ones. You wake up and as you're looking in the mirror putting on makeup hurriedly before class you realize that you're going to be okay.

You laugh to yourself as you realize just how different God's plans might be from your own, but despite it all you know, just know in your heart of hearts, that His plan is going to be much greater than anything you could have dreamed up.

& Because of these beautiful truths, you find yourself smiling again.

Praise be, friends. Today is going to be a good day.

Always,
L.A.

A letter to the man who'll be brave enough to get down on one knee for me,

I'm not going to sugar coat it, life's been kind of hard on me lately.

It turns out Spanish isn't my language, and some guy I thought might be you got engaged.

But, you know what? Jesus loves me through it all. & How absolutely beautiful is that? I am ridiculously undeserving, and God must be sighing and shaking His head at me as I think I have His plan for me figured out time and time again.

In other news: Papa Benny announced his resignation today, and Lent is rolling around.

I find myself wondering where you are right now as I sit here in the Newman Center's library putting off my homework. I hope wherever you are, you're aware of how much God loves you. I hope that on your worst days you find comfort in the fact that no matter what happens, no matter how hopeless any situation may seem, He has something much greater than anything we've ever imagined in store.

Oh, & I miss you.

Love Always,
yours

Papa Benny love

“If you follow the will of God, you know that in spite of all the terrible things that happen to you, you will never lose a final refuge. You know that the foundation of the world is love, so that even when no human being can or will help you, you may go on, trusting in the One that loves you.” 
― Pope Benedict XVI

“There are times when the burden of need and our own limitations might tempt us to become discouraged. But precisely then we are helped by the knowledge that, in the end, we are only instruments in the Lord's hands; and this knowledge frees us from the presumption of thinking that we alone are personally responsible for building a better world. In all humility we will do what we can, and in all humility we will entrust the rest to the Lord. It is God who governs the world, not we. We offer him our service only to the extent that we can, and for as long as he grants us the strength. To do all we can with what strength we have, however, is the task which keeps the good servant of Jesus Christ always at work: 'The love of Christ urges us on'.” 
― Pope Benedict XVI, God Is Love--Deus Caritas Est: Encyclical Letter

Fall for you

In my humble opinion, every great song has even better lyrics that really hit home. & this is one of those songs. Stephen Gordon, I don't know who you are, but without knowing me you somehow know my heart.
Always,
L.A.

Lyrics:
This could not have been the plan
to be exactly where I am
never found a place to land
never found a flame to fan
not getting used to it
not getting used to it

And the dreams that came upon us
found out they don't really want us
Chase them down to let them go
they run faster than you'd hoped
And I don't get used to it
And I don't get used to it

I wanna fall for you, baby
I know it's nothing new, baby
But why does it all seem so hard lately
I wanna fall for you

And the years they keep me guessing
where to go to find a blessing
How long is it gonna take?
how much before it breaks?
Not getting used to it
A heart don't get used to this

Lord, can I still call you father?
I know I've been foolish and prodigal
Or is grace more like a secret?
Sit still enough and you can keep it
And I don't get used to this
not getting used to it

I wanna fall for you, baby
I know it's nothing new, baby
But why does it all seem so hard lately
I wanna fall for you

Souls

via

"Think of how many people have sat next to you on a bus, train, whatever. Now think how many people have sat next to you on purpose with their fingers crossed in hope that you’ll talk to them. I’m sure somebody has. There’s plenty of times when somebody’s seen you and hoped that you spoke to them, but you never did because you don’t have the guts and neither do they. Don’t go around thinking nobody likes you and that you’re not loved. There’s been plenty of times when a stranger has spotted you and thought 'Oh, they’re just my type,' but haven’t had the courage or confidence to open their mouth and initiate a conversation. The funny thing is, neither have you."
-via modernhepburn 

To the man who'll rock my children to sleep,

I find myself thinking of you tonight and wanting to tell you so much. Have you ever gotten to a point in your life when you're just....content? Because today I find myself smiling as a write to tell you that that is where I am right now.

Lately I find myself completely overwhelmed with how blessed I am. I enjoy my busy schedule full of classes, work, FOCUS student leadership, and friends. God is just blowing me away with all He is doing.

Oh my goodness, and how I love my friends. I couldn't ask for better people to spend my college years with. Becca has grown so much lately! Even I wouldn't have believed where she is today if you'd have told me last year. I can't tell you how many nights we have the intention of getting a good eight hours of sleep, but instead end up talking until well into the next morning about the things dearest to our hearts.

& I can't even begin to tell you how excited I am to be sharing a home with Des, Ashley, Becky, and Alaina next year! & I could never forget my favorite freshmen, Erin & Marah and the wonderful conversations we have. I have grown so close to each one of these women; they truly are my sisters in Christ.

These women are just a little over a handful of the lovely people who make up my family away from home at the Newman center. There isn't enough time in the day to tell you about each one of them and how much they've impacted my life.

Someday I'll show you their pictures of these wonderful people. They've had quite a hand in making college the perfect place for me right now. I never thought Vermillion would feel like home, but these days it does.

I still miss you, my mystery man. I cannot wait to meet you someday. But with the help of my Verm family, I think the days until then will be more than bearable.

Love Always,
yours

"We would be together and have our books and at night be warm in bed together with the windows open and the stars bright."

- Ernest Hemingway, A Moveable Feast