Wednesday, March 20, 2013

A starless night

"How are you?"

"Good."

Not the truth, but not quite a lie either, because you're not bad.

No, not bad. You're fine.

You're blessed.

You've have a wonderful family, amazing friends, the opportunity to further your education, a roof over your head, a warm bed to sleep in, a belly full of ice cream, and a God who loves you more than you could ever comprehend.

Yet here you are, also stressed, exhausted, sad, and empty.

You've asked yourself the same question time and time again over the past couple of weeks,

"Why do I feel so damn broken?"

The place where in your heart that used to be filled with joy now seems to be but an empty cavity in your chest. Here you are, hollow and hurting, without the slightest inclination as to where this wound has come from.

What caused this crack in your spirit?

"Can those around me tell that I'm not really alive anymore?"
"Don't they see me walking around wearing the best mask I can muster?"
"The mask of a woman fulfilled?"

"How is it I'm back here again?
Feeling completely alone though surrounded by those I love most?"

Why is it so hard to combat these lies, even when we see them for what they are,
lies straight from the pit of hell?

It feels as if the starless night you've been living in is about to swallow you whole.

Tonight, as you climb into bed with a rosary wrapped around hand,
you promise God your prayer will be simple.

"Help."

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