What I deserve

I know something is not quite right within a romantic venture if I don't need to write about him. If thinking of him doesn't make me want to sketch out possibilities and if being with him doesn't make me want to pour our sentence after sentence describing the way he laughs or smiles or just inspires me to be more, then I know. As much as I may not want to admit it to myself, that lack of inspiration is a red flag, a sign that I am settling, that I deserve better. That I deserve more.

Because I do deserve more.

I deserve butterflies and laughter and inside jokes. I deserve someone who not only calls me beautiful, but whose eyes make me feel more myself when they stop to take me in. I deserve someone who challenges me, who refuses to let me settle into a life that's less than I am capable of living. I deserve just-becuase-flowers and breakfast in bed and a touch that I can still feel after he's left for the day.

& I'll be damned if I settle for anything less when I'm just on the brink of twenty.

Always,
L.A.