A resolution

Sometime over the last four months I've somehow reverted back into this sob story of a nineteen year old college student, single and wallowing in how pathetic I am for it. Weeping like an infant about how love had managed to miss me this time around, and well frankly, every time around. And yeah the guy I like(d) he was a DANG GOOD GUY. One in a million to be sure, but, at least for now, it wasn't meant to be. God has something else in mind for me for the time being.

Here I am doing something I rarely do: Admitting I was wrong. The me in that last post, ooftah, she needed a wake up call. Turns out she got one.

So here I am, just as 2013 has started off, making a resolution for myself. Instead of moping around like I've been given three months to live because my life isn't going as I quite planned, I'm going to rejoice. Rejoice in the Lord! Praise him for this life and voice he's given me and pray for the courage to live the moment He's given me right now to the absolute fullest for His glory.

Always & forever His,
L.A.

PS: Fun fact: I'm at the Swan & Dolphin Resort right now in Disney World for the 2013 SEEK Conference! It's shaping up to be exactly what I needed. :)

Risk it.

The possibility of love, of that happily ever after you've always dreamed of, of sitting on your front porch with a man you love more than all the stars in the sky surrounded by ten kids who look just like him, IS 110%, without a doubt worth any awkwardness or pain that may come from a failed attempt at a relationship.

Fight for what you want. 

Don't close your door and go hide in your room whenever your heart's at risk of bruising or breaking.

Take a risk.

Fight with every ounce of strength God gave you.

Because someday, when you come home to your empty apartment with no one but your cat to greet you, you might regret every day you didn't.

Always,
L.A.

Facebook creeping and finding a major

I was just facebook creeping an old friend of mine from camp who I knew ended up graduating with an English major.  (No judgement please. I know you're all secret facebook creepers too.)  Turns out she graduated with a degree in "English for New Media".

My intrest was peeked.  I went to her alma mater's website and looked into the coursework involved.

And it was just what I've been looking for.

Oh, shit.  I have a feeling I've just accidentally opened up a can of worms I wasn't expecting.

Always,
L.A.

Thoughts on the future...

 

Yesterday I had a minor breakdown while thinking about the future.

I went to my school's website and printed off a list with every available major on it. I went through every. single. major. and crossed out one by one those that held no appeal for me. I ended up with my current major. (English.) And one I've been secretly considering. (Journalism.)


And then I started freaking out. big time. because those majors aren't "safe" majors. Earlier this year I decided I wanted to be a high school English teacher. That way I could have a job with holidays and weekends and summers off, all the while being able to work with literature and writing. (Aka: my favorite subjects.) (Oh. And notice how safe that career would be?)


But as of late I've started dangerously dreaming about life as a writer (but what kind of writer?) in the city.

Not some tiny Midwestern city. I want the bright lights of New York or Boston or hell even Chicago would do. (Oops. There's my damn potty mouth again.) The problem with this BIG DREAM of mine is pretty evident to me though.

I've never really spent time in a big city. I mean I went to Chicago for a band trip in high school, (yep. i was a band geek among other things. i played clarinet.) but that was a very touristy trip and years ago. I have no idea if I'm meant for city life. And frankly, I'm scared to find out.

My friend Ashley and I were having a discussion about this yesterday as well, and she kept encouraging me to suck it up and give journalism a try.

"You could live in New York," she said.

"We'll see," I said.

"You can't just 'we'll see' your dreams."

But I am.

At least for now. Unfortunately I've somehow managed to let fear get a hold of me.
And for now, it's winning this battle.

Always,
L.A.

Time for a change?

"What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet" -Romeo and Juliet

Indeed, what is in a name?

I feel as though when I created this blog months ago, I wasn't really sure about what direction it would take. In that moment of spontaneity I named it "My Underdog Story", but now I feel that a different name would better do my silly little blog justice. I still believe that my story is an underdog story of sorts, things are not handed to me now, nor will they ever be, but I am certain another title would be better suited for this string of posts that keeps me sane. Maybe "This is the life I live and love"?

What do you think?

Should I keep the name the same? Change it to the one I mentioned? Or something else entirely?

Any comments would be greatly appreciated to say the least.

Thanks,

L.A.




ps: this is my 45th post.
45 also happens to be the number of my high school basketball jersey.
oh, nostalgia.

Life- It's confusing.

Life. It's so...confusing.

Have you ever felt like you're just not getting it? Like you're missing something? Lately that's where I find myself.

Society tries to feed us all this...just complete and utter crap, and I'm not buying it. I don't care what the media tells us, I don't want to spend my life chasing after money and power. That's never been me. When you grow up the oldest of seven kids, it makes it kind of hard to be self-serving and materialistic, and I thank God every day I'm lucky enough to be a part of the amazing family I've been blessed with. I don't want the big house or the fancy cars.

I want...more.

There's a place where I'd like to see myself in the future, but how does one get to that point? What do I do to get there? Which roads do I have to take? Do I stay here at the university where I started this year and have made many new friends? Or do I transfer to the university where all my lifelong friends from childhood and high school are?

Decisions, decisions. These are the questions that ambush me whenever I have a moment to think. Making decisions is far from my strong suit, so for now I just wait. Wait, pray, and trust in the His timing, that's all I can do for now.

Wish me luck.
This decision is a big one.

Always,
L.A.