Him

I am boy-crazy.

There, I said it.

Now before you jump to any conclusions, think about how I just phrased that.  Boy-crazy.  What kind of freshman in college would say that?  It just sounds so....juvenile? naive? And, dare I say, lame?

I don't think those words accurately explain my relationship with guys, but let's just get one thing straight.  I'm not the most experienced when it comes to dating. (or experienced at all for that matter.) And I'm okay with that. (most of the time.)

I love being young, single, and free. (most of the time.)

I do have those moments of loneliness.  Those days I'm walking to class and I wish someone was holding my hand.  Those afternoons I want someone to laugh with me when I do something completely ridiculous the way only I can.  Those nights I just want someone to stay in and watch movies with me.

But I have patience. (or at least I try to.)

I don't want to be with just anyone just anyone.  I want to be with him.  I'm waiting for the guy I'll marry someday.  My husband-to-be.

Not to say he'll be the first guy I'll share a part of me with, but I want him to be the first guy I share all of me with.

I've always been a romantic of sorts.  Unable to look at almost everything without putting a rosy tint over it.  The eternal optimist.  The hopeful one.  The dreamer.  And so being the person I am, I often think of the man I'll share my life with. (it's so weird to think that right now as I'm writing this he's out there. somewhere.)  I wonder what he's doing right now.  Is he enjoying a lazy moment this St. Patty's day as I am?

I'm contemplating blogging letters (love letters?) to my mystery man.  I think I will.  But I worry that he'll see them before I'm ready for him to.  Somehow stumble across this one blog out of the millions out there.  That although my name's not on this blog, he'll see the picture of the author and know.

I think the risk's worth it.  Because someday (who knows how many years down the road) I want him to know.  I want him to know that before I could pick his face out of a crowd, before I could recognize his easy laugh without thinking, I was waiting for him.

Always,

L.A.