Sometimes a person just needs to...

...frolic carelessly down the hallway in the dead of the night towards the bathroom in the dorms and celebrate life as it is right then. Because nights spent effortlessly sitting on the futon with your roommate eating dry lucky charms out of the box and watching the random old movie playing on the TV guide channel are beautiful. And dorky. And so me.

Gosh. And just when I was beginning to think I'd lost myself again.

A little... or maybe a lot... of honesty

Sometimes I worry that what I post here on this blog, this place where my thoughts become tangible, is not good enough. I worry that it's not inspiring enough. Or artistic enough. Or real enough. I was thinking this today as I stared at my computer screen no knowing what to write, but knowing...No. Feeling, that I should.

But here's what I realized:

Who cares? Honestly, why does it matter? Who cares who reads this?

As much as I love and appreciate you, my dear dear readers, in the end I'm not writing for you. Believe me, outside of the blogging world I'm a very far cry from selfish ninety percent of the time, but here and now, in this place where no one can touch me, I'm doing this for me.

And yeah, I really truly hope that somehow, someday someone identifies with my words the way I've identified with different writers who, although they've never met me, just get me.

But until then, this is me. I may not always say what you want or need to hear, or rather write what you want or need to read, but maybe, just maybe, someday what I say will be exactly what you need to get through the day or get you back on your feet or just keep you dreaming. (Oh, the beauty of dreaming...)

So I guess really, if I'm being honest, that's why I write.

Always,
L.A.

On reese's eggs

Dear man whose last name will one day be mine,

Someday, on the Monday after Easter, can we buy up all of the Reese's Easter eggs left on the shelves?  My supply of reaster eggs never seems to last long enough, and by now I'm sure you know how I feel about that perfect chocolate to peanut butter ratio.

Love always,

me


p.s. Even now, I love you more than I love those scrumptious eggs. xo

My time machine

Isn't it funny how a song can be a time machine?

No matter where you are or who you're with, when you hear that one song you're instantly back in the moment in which that song became more than just a song.  You're in that moment in which that song evolved.  That moment it evolved into a vehicle to take you back to the moment when it became significant.

"Feel So Close" recently evolved and gained this significance for me.
Calvin Harris's song brings me back to one of those moments I could live in.

It was just a couple nights ago I found myself in a crowded car on my way out to Spirit Mound to enjoy a midnight hike.  I shouldn't have been there, in the back of that car so incredibly squished but loving the closeness I felt with those there sharing that moment with me.  I should have been back in the library studying for the test I had the next day.  But I wasn't.  I was there in that moment with those amazing people I feel so blessed to be able to call my friends.

We were all smiling and laughing, forgetting our responsibilities while we could.  And then that song came on.  "I feel so close to you right now."  The radio was turned up.  Dan and Curtis were fist pumping and shaking the car, making it a challenge for Ashley to drive straight.  Des, Nicole, and myself were laughing and dancing as well.

"I feel so close to you right now," Dan sang. "This song is perfect!"

How perfect it was, as he continued to dance beside me, unable to do so without making me dance as well we were so close.  And now, days later I can be transported to that wonderful moment again and again with just the sound of Calvin Harris's voice.  "I feel so close to you right now."

Always,
L.A.

The uncertain

Sometimes I let my doubts get the best of me and find myself worrying about the future...
Oh, the uncertain.  How it scares me.

I suppose Margret Drabble's right though.  "When nothing is sure, everything is possible."
What a beautiful way to think of the unknown.  I really must try and remember this.
I must.

Always,
L.A.

Be silly

When many people I know are trying so hard to be adult and sophisticated, I've come to see the wisdom in the words Emerson left us.  Life may not be as simple as it once was, but it's also not as complicated as we often make it.

I ask that you not take life too seriously.

I ask that you sing in the shower no matter who may hear.

Laugh at yourself as you make a fool of yourself as you fall up the stairs.

And dance like an idiot when your favorite song comes on.

I ask that you smile at the cute boy you pass on your way to class.

Strike up a conversation with a stranger while you wait in the checkout line.

And shrug off the awkward moments that are ever present in life.

I ask that you treat yourself to cookie-dough ice cream.

Cry unashamed while watching your favorite movies.

And embrace the nights you don't have time for sleep.

After all, it's the little things in life that make it great.  So be silly.

Always,

L.A.

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